Going through a breakup can be a gruelling process, even in the most amicable circumstances. Whether you've been together for three months or thirty years, sometimes the pain can be gut-wrenching. The time to heal afterwards is a delicate and pivotal moment in any person's life suffering the loss of a relationship.
For most of us, we know the importance of taking time to be alone and grieve. The healing in our own company can be beneficial, but extroverted people may need more human interaction to get through the worst of their pain.
If you're a social butterfly currently mending your wings, consider the following guide to help you rebuild your self-confidence and heal your heart after a breakup.
Plan A Proper Night Out
It's always good to have something to look forward to. Many extroverted people love a good night out, and it can be a great way to help enjoy life again without your ex. Getting a group of friends together for a trip to a proper pub can really add some spark back into your social life.
If you're from Dublin or visiting the area, consider checking out Bad Bobs, a vibrant pub with great food and live music that's wildly popular among the locals.
Emotional Purge In Good Company
Crying it out is usually the first step in your body trying to heal from the trauma of a split. But doing it alone can sometimes do more damage, making us sink deeper into despair and doubt.
Consider having an emotional purge party. Invite your most trusted loved ones to your support system to create a communal environment free of judgement and solutions. Once everyone is gathered together, pick what you want to do to help purge yourself of the deep and complex feelings you may be experiencing.
This doesn't necessarily have to be through tragic movies and ice cream. Try listening to an album by a favourite artist together and discuss all the emotions you're experiencing. Try group meditation or a painting session to get all of your hurt out on tangible paper.
Anger, hurt, guilt, and grief can all be channelled into productive activities that can help your brain rebuild a sense of safety and comfort.
Find a Support Group
If your support system is hard to connect with or you're still building one, look for support groups online who understand what you're going through. This can easily be found by a quick Google search or finding a Facebook group.
Did your partner commit adultery after decades of marriage? Did you just escape a toxic or dangerous relationship? Whatever your circumstances, finding people who understand your pain and are experiencing it alongside you is an empowering way to gain perspective and free yourself from negative self-talk.
Take A Break From Toxic Social Media
There is nothing worse for the healing psyche than doom scrolling or posts from energy vampires. If your social media feed is mentally taxing and not serving you while you're in a delicate emotional state, consider taking a break from social media hindering you.
This doesn't mean all apps get deleted from your phone. Set a time frame for how long you'll be off the platforms you choose, and stick to the ones that bring you joy. Do you like finding dessert recipes on Pinterest or scrolling through cute cat videos on TikTok? Keep the apps that benefit you mentally and silence the ones that don't.
Try A New Fitness Class
According to the US National Institute of Health, physical activity while undergoing grief can have a significant positive impact on mental health. Adding a new fitness class to your usual routine or starting a brand new routine altogether can create the perfect circumstance to widen outside of your usual social circle, especially if you and your ex had similar friends.
A spin class or Zumba session at your local community centre can create opportunities for you to make new friends, develop your self-confidence, and release some serious stress.
The dopamine boost after a workout helps lift your mood throughout the day and promotes better sleep for proper mental and physical recovery, too.
Rearrange Your Space
Our brains associate so many emotions with familiarity and routines. Our living room layout can hold a lot of memories with our previous partner and can become a massive trigger for reliving trauma from the relationship. Try making a fresh start for yourself by redesigning your space with friends.
Choose calming and happy colours that make you feel good, and invite your best pals over for a home makeover. Put a new coat of paint on the walls, hang new pictures, and add extra cushions or soft lighting to your home with some music and a takeaway.
By creating a new space with new memories, you'll allow yourself to let go of a past narrative you're hanging onto and actually enjoy being in your home.
Spend Time With Experienced Loved Ones
Do you have an elder in your family that you are close to? How about an elderly neighbour or coworker? If you know someone in your life who's had more years of experience than you, now is the time to tap into the treasure trove of wisdom they can offer.
Spending time with those of an older generation can help us understand ourselves a little better and gain perspective on our own lives so we can live them to the fullest.
Plan a tea date with your grandfather, or offer to help around the house for the elderly widow on your street. Consider volunteering your time at a local care home and spending time with residents. By giving your time and energy to those who need it, you are more likely to feel fulfilled inwardly.
Conclusion
While going through a breakup is hard, it doesn't have to break you. Solo work is important, but tapping into your social needs to glean strength from your support system is just as important. By putting in the time and effort with the people you care about, you'll be able to heal and grow from this tough experience.
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