Moving in with other students can go one of two ways. Either it's a total breeze and you end up with some lifelong mates, or it's complete chaos involving mouldy dishes, mystery noise at 3 am, and silent battles over who's stealing whose milk.
The truth? It usually lands somewhere in between. Sharing a space with people your own age sounds simple enough, but throw in different routines, habits, and personalities, and it can get messy fast. That's why having a few ground rules makes life so much smoother.
Respect That Everyone Lives Differently
This one sounds obvious, but it's usually where most of the tension starts. You might be someone who wakes up at 6 am for a gym session and eats dinner by 5 pm. Your flatmate might thrive in the middle of the night and consider cereal a valid dinner option.
It doesn't mean one of you is right or wrong. But it does mean you'll need to meet somewhere in the middle.
Things that help here:
- Don't assume people are being rude if they don't follow your routine
- Avoid loud activities during sleeping hours (whatever those hours are for your house)
- Leave space for each other's habits, even if they're not how you'd do things
If you notice something they do is bothering you regularly, it's better to bring it up early, calmly, without turning it into a personality attack.
Have an Actual Chat About Cleaning
You'd think this one would sort itself out naturally. It doesn't. Some people were raised in super tidy homes where nothing was left out of place. Others are used to living in a bit of a mess and don't notice crumbs on the counter or dishes stacking up.
Rather than assuming everyone will clean “when it's their turn,” make an actual plan for keeping your student accommodation in great condition. It doesn't have to be strict. Maybe it's a cleaning rota. Maybe you just agree on who does what.
But set expectations from the start:
How often is the kitchen cleaned?
Are you sharing the cost of cleaning products?
Is it OK to leave dishes in the sink overnight?
Even if it feels a bit awkward, one ten-minute chat is better than months of resentment over who last took the bins out.
Decide What's Shared and What's Not
One of the biggest causes of quiet frustration is stuff going missing. Milk, loo roll, shampoo, pasta — if you're not clear on what's shared and what's personal, things get messy fast.
Sort it out early. Have the conversation no one wants to have, but everyone benefits from.
You might agree that basic things like salt, oil, and toilet paper are shared, and anything else is personal. Or maybe you all chip in and cook together regularly. Whatever works, just make it clear.
And if someone's constantly using your stuff without asking, say something. Politely, but directly. Silence doesn't help; it just builds up irritation.
Keep Messaging in Check
Group chats are useful, but they can also make small things feel bigger than they are. If someone's left a mess or done something annoying, try not to blow it up in a group message straight away.
Where you can, speak in person. A quick “Hey, do you mind wiping down the counter after cooking? It gets a bit grim otherwise” in the kitchen is better than a passive-aggressive text that makes everyone feel weird.
Group chats are great for bills, reminders, or arranging things like movie nights or cleaning days. But don't let them become battlegrounds. No one wants to dread opening their phone after a long day.
Be Self-Aware
Living with others means paying attention to your own habits as much as theirs. Are you the one playing music too loud late at night? Leaving the shower covered in hair? Using the last bit of milk and pretending it didn't happen?
It's easy to get caught up in what others are doing wrong and forget you might be doing something that drives them mad too. A little self-check now and then goes a long way.
When Things Get Tense, Don't Let It Simmer
Arguments don't always come from massive issues. Most of the time, it's small stuff that builds up until someone explodes.
If something's been bothering you, raise it before it gets too far. It doesn't have to be a confrontation, just an honest conversation.
Try:
“Hey, I noticed the bathroom's been left really messy lately — do you reckon we could try keeping it a bit cleaner?”
“I get that you're on a different schedule, but would you mind keeping the noise down after midnight? I'm struggling with sleep.”
It's not about being the boss of the flat. It's about making it a decent place to live for everyone.
You Don't Have to Be Best Friends
This is a big one. Some people go into student housing thinking they'll instantly bond with their flatmates and become inseparable. It's lovely when that happens, but it's not the norm.
You don't have to be close to get along. Respect is more important than friendship. If you end up getting on well and spending loads of time together, great. But if not, that's totally fine too.
Focus on being polite, honest, and considerate. That alone can build a peaceful, easy living situation, even if you're not sharing life stories over dinner.
When It Works, It's Brilliant
Some of the best memories you'll make during student life will be in your shared flat. The random late-night chats, the shared wins, the group panic over deadlines — they hit differently when you're all in the same space.
That's why putting in a bit of effort to get the basics right matters. You don't have to create a perfect living situation. You just need one where people feel respected, heard, and reasonably hygienic.
